Saturday, January 23, 2016

Past Meets Present

This was posted to my Facebook a few days ago and it has had me thinking ever since.     Yes, I think I am all the things it mentions but it saddens me more than anything.  

It has taken several days of thought to understand why I was saddened by this meme, cartoon or whatever you call it.  I now realize that it saddens me because both my husband and I  lived probably three-quarters of our lives in family situations that were far from perfect.  Each of us had a childhood that left us scared.  Then, we each allowed our destructive past to lead us into marriages that just continued to degrade us and keep us from building our self-esteem.  

It was only after we each found ourselves alone that we were able to begin to realize our personal worth and rebuild our injured psyche.  

Just over nine years ago we happened to meet on a singles website and took a huge leap of faith by joining our lives in marriage.  These past years (in my opinion)have been the best of our lives intermingled with some of the most painful.      

My husband and I are walking down a path where neither of us fully understand the forces that shaped us during those sixty years of living. Sometimes, we have flashbacks when memories from that past life creep into the present and cause us distress. Our partner was not part of that time and it creates confusion, misunderstandings and occasionally some temper between us. 

We each had another life with people and family, the other didn’t experience.    In some ways, I wish our lives came with a playback button so others could understand our past from our viewpoint.  It would certainly make it easier to be understanding during those moments when our past lives intrude on the present. I guess we just have to realize everyone has their own ghosts and demons they must deal with. It is up to us to be more understanding and not allow their demons to become a personal assault on our own emotions.

1 comment:

  1. I think, (No, I KNOW) this should be required reading for anyone considering a 2nd - or 3rd! marriage. Even if one enjoyed an idyllic childhood, we've all got baggage.