Monday, January 25, 2016

too old for all this drama

My husband and I have just lived through an eventful (not in a good way) week.   First, let me give you the backstory. To protect the privacy of those involved I have changed all their names. 

We met a young family shortly after we were married and they have been a real blessing in our lives.  We became the parents, grandparents, guidance and emotional support this hurting family needed.  While they filled all the empty spaces in our lives and hearts caused by the distance ( both literally and emotionally) of our own children and grandchildren.

Jessie’s  parents divorced when she was very young and then her father disappeared.   After years of searching  Jessie finally tracked him down a few years ago to discover he was on his third marriage and had three adult children he had raised from his second marriage.   Jessie is a very loving and caring person and she was finally starting to get close to her father and build a tenuous relationship with her half -siblings.  Unfortunately, her older brother and sister could not be so forgiving of the father’s  past transgressions and refused to renew their relationship with him. 

Jessie’s father (Max) owned a small trucking company but he continued to drive over the road and his sons (second marriage) worked for him.  He also hired Jessie’s husband to manage the office, solicit business and keep the trucks and drivers busy and on the road.  Last week Max and one of his son’s were doing a tandem run to the west coast.  Somewhere in New Mexico  Max had a heart attack that caused him to crash his rig into a stone wall and he died at the scene.  His son who was following right behind him was witness to the whole event. 

This son (James) will inherit the business and had to not only deal with the loss of his father and getting his body sent home, but had to make arrangements to get the load from both rigs to their destination. Now he must deal with how the company is going to meet all its obligations with two drivers and  two rigs off the road, as well as drive his own rig back to  Missouri and plan a funeral. 

While these events are tragic and my heart goes out to everyone involved I am most concerned about my “adopted” daughter.  Jessie, is not only facing the possibility that her husband will soon be unemployed ( Max was the glue that keep this struggling enterprise afloat)she is dealing with a lifetime of emotions that were still unresolved where her father and his first and second families were concerned.   Jessie so wanted to become Daddies little girl and for her son to build a relationship with his grandfather.  Now all those dreams are lost.  Then as if that was not enough to deal with it was learned that Max had no life insurance and his second family expected Jessie and her siblings to each pay a share of the funeral expenses.  Money that none of them have but that Jessie feels she must make her full responsibility, even if it means taking on years of debt.   

My husband and I have done our best to provide meals, comfort, support and childcare for this young couple, who are also foster parents to two children, during this time of stress and sorrow.  But, during all this my daughter and her husband get into a huge row and my grandson became fed up and left.  Granted he is nineteen and a college student, but he does not drive and walked out at 2:30 in the morning on a freezing night in a town that rolls in the sidewalks at ten pm.   

My daughter and I have not had the best relationship since her father died, so she was convinced that we must be hiding her son.  But, I knew my house was the last place my grandson would go because he knew it was the first place his mother would look.   Then expecting him to go to the home of one of his friends my daughter spent the next three hours waking up families in the small hours of the night.  We awoke to find numerous missed calls on our phones. My grandson had never done anything like this before. It was out of character for him to disappear in the middle of the night.  After twelve hours my grandson finally called, and we learned he had been safely tucked away in bed at my sister's house after he made the three-mile hike to her place.  

Boy, am I getting too old for all this drama.

1 comment:

  1. Family drama can suck the life out us. I try to avoid it at almost any cost. Good on you guys for helping them out over the years. Very nice of you...